Love’s Opposite Is Simply Not Hate

Love's Opposite Is Simply Not Hate

By Edward Fagan

Love’s opposite is not hate, they are too similar

Love’s opposite is not hate, even though many of us think so. At first sight, the qualities of love and hate seem to be opposites of each other. The motives behind the acts of love and hate thus seem to be opposites of each other. The acts of love and hate, and their outcomes too, also seem to be opposites of each other.

Love and hate, however, are not opposites. These two qualities have too much in common to be opposites of each other. Love, to the extent of its presence in a host, draws its host to the love object. It creates a bond or link between its host and the love object. It also attaches its host to the love object, for as long as it remains present in the host.

Hate does exactly the same thing as love, and in the same way. Hate, to the extent of its presence in a host, draws its host to the hate object. It creates a bond or link between its host and the hate object. It also attaches its host to the hate object, for as long as it remains present in the host.

These two spiritual (though not necessarily religious) qualities have much in common. One would repel the host from the object rather than draw him to it if they were opposites. They are not opposites of each other, but are both opposites of another quality. I will look at this quality in the future.

Love and hate, the abstract nouns minus their acts or verb equivalents, are powerful. Medical research proves this in discovering that some persons who harbour much hate consequently develop certain disorders. Researchers also found that persons who harboured thoughts of love realized an improvement in their health.

Love’s opposite, what about motives, acts and outcomes? 

Our motives determine our actions and their results. When we act out of love, our motives are always to selflessly serve and help others. When we act out of hate, our motives are to cause others harm.

The motives, and acts and their outcomes, of love and hate are, like love and hate, not opposites. The motives behind our acts of love and hate connect us to the objects of our love and hate. Our acts of love and hate, and their outcomes also link us to the objects of our love and hate.

Finally then, we can say that love and hate are not opposites. We can also say that their motives, acts, and the outcomes of their acts are also not opposites.

by Edward Fagan

Please also see the following post in this blog: 

Love, The Dual Sided Object

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Breaking Up Is Not Wrongdoing

Breaking Up Is Not Wrong Doing

By Edward Fagan

Breaking up, a few points worth noting

Breaking up in a romantic or marital relationship is often painful for one or both partners. The other partner usually sees himself or herself as suffering wrongdoing by the partner who ended the relationship. Is this, however, really the case?

Does someone deny you a right when they refuse to continue in a personal relationship with you? We commit wrongdoing when we deny someone the exercise of a right in a given situation. Do we deny someone a right when we refuse their offer to start a relationship? No we do not, because such a right does not exist.

We therefore do not grant them a right when we accept their offer to start such a relationship. Then, we also do not grant them a right to continue in such a relationship if started. We thus do not deny them a right when we terminate such a relationship if started.

We have the same moral rights within relationships as we have outside of them. In relationships, however, we grant each other privileges that we do not offer to others. These privileges are ours to give and deny as we choose to do.

When we terminate a relationship we are exercising our right to deny a privilege we granted previously. Our partner might feel bad but we are not denying them the exercise of a right. We thus are not guilty of any wrongdoing toward them.

by Edward Fagan

Please also see the following post in this Blog:

Looking At Love To Understand Its Nature

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Love, The Dual Sided Object

Love, The Dual Sided Object

Love, The Dual Sided ObjectHello, can you spare a moment?

Love, a quality and a course of action

Love is outgoing care and concern for the other person. It is both an abstract noun, and a verb. We experience the former as an objectively good, joyful inner quality. This quality results in our selfless concrete action that helps and gives to others. This genuine selfless action reveals the quality source from which it comes.

Where the quality is present we will experience it; and we will see this course of action where the quality is present.

Please see the following post in this blog:

Friendship, The Fundamental Quality In All Relationships

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By Edward Fagan

 

Expressing Love And The Ways of Doing So

Drinkers Guilt Need Not Be A Problem

This is an original essay written by Edward  Fagan.

Expressing love personally  

We can express love in a variety of ways whenever there is a need to express love. We thus can express love whenever we practise it, and practise it whenever it is welcome. When we express love, we will always do so using one or more ways of expressing such love.

We can express love in any of the various and creative ways that suit the particular relationship we are in. We should also remember that expressing love is as important as love itself, and that both are universal and perennial.

Love is a wonderful and necessary quality and practice. Humans, therefore, should possess and practise love toward each other and toward our beautiful world.

Love deserves to be expressed in the most beautiful, artistic and moral way. The esthetic quality, then, of our expression of love in any given situation can never be too high.

Some benefits of  expressing love

Practising love in a manner that reflects emotional and other forms of affection, warmth and sensitivity is important. Such practicing and displaying of love can determine the nature and extent of our response to that expression of love. Displaying love in such an appropriate tone and manner can convey a sense of peace, fraternity, joy and happiness.

Displaying love as mentioned above can bring several advantages to the recipient. It can bring delight to the hearts of recipients who might be suffering through depression, sadness and despair. When we express love, we can sometimes inspire others to cultivate a more positive view of themselves.

We can also inspire them to have a more optimistic view of their circumstances. They thus might realize the need to change for the better, their behaviour toward themselves and their circumstances.

When we express love in the manner mentioned above, and appropriately respond to it, we can experience a beneficial effect. This beneficial effect can be of a mental, emotional or other nature. Both the person who receives the expression of love, and the person who expresses love, can benefit from that expression.

Expressing love culturally and artistically

The cultures of the world reflect the importance of expressing love, in their oral, physical and other customs and traditions. These customs and traditions evolved from the love for and the importance of, expressing love. These customs and traditions and our own inclinations allow us more scope to express love in various ways. We thus enhance our capacity to express love with all of the joy, beauty and art that expressing love deserves.

The arts offer ample opportunities relevant to expressing love. They identify or create, store, retrieve and teach values and practices relevant to love and its expression. Practitioners of the literary, performing and visual arts continue to teach or remind us how we may express love beautifully.

All humans commonly share in this cultural and artistic contribution to our understanding, practice and expression of love. It thus provides an easily accessible resource which we can exploit in our effort at expressing love.

We, obviously, also have our best natural and acquired abilities relevant to expressing love. These include our verbal, physical and other abilities. How much, and the way we use this commonly-shared cultural and artistic legacy, can aid our expression of love. Our natural and acquired abilities relevant to expressing love can also help us greatly in our effort at expressing love. We, therefore, do not have any excuse for not expressing love as effectively and beautifully as we can express it.

Love, Looking At Love More Deeply

By Edward Fagan

Looking At Love To Understand Its Nature

Looking at love may allow greater understanding of its nature and practice.

This is an original essay written by Edward fagan.

Looking at love in greater detail can help us gain a clearer and better understanding of the importance of love. It can also help us understand the wonderful quality and practice that constitute love.

A clearer understanding of the wonderful quality and practice that make up love can help us in several ways. Such understanding can help us develop love’s quality more completely, and master its practice more perfectly.

We’ll start with the correct, though different, definition of the word love. Love is outgoing care and concern for the next person. It is necessary to know that love exists through action. We give and receive love through the actions we perform toward each other.

The practice of outgoing care and concern for the other person, active practical love is important. This active practical love always indicates the presence in us, of love the inner quality.

Love, the personal quality and practice

In terms of language, love is both a verb and an abstract noun. Both love in action, expressed and practical, and love, the inner quality, are spiritually good. Love, the good spiritual quality, can be a permanent trait of our character during every moment of our existence.

When love, the inner quality, is present in us we practise love, the expressed action toward others. Our outgoing care and concern toward others will aim at helping their person, or their circumstances, or both.

Practised love builds or repairs all types of relationships. Love helps, gives to, cherishes, protects, maintains and preserves the other person and their circumstances.

Love never leads to harm or destruction of the other person. It is therefore impossible for someone to truthfully claim that they killed or harmed someone because they loved them.

We experience the presence of love, the good spiritual quality, when we practise it toward others. We also experience this quality when others practise it toward us.

Our response to our experience of the presence of love as givers or recipients matters.  That response may involve our experiencing a certain emotional state. This may result in the expression of one or another type of emotional behaviour. This happens, for example, in romance and marital situations.

Love’s permanence 

Love is always permanent. Emotional experience and expression do not perform the role of love, they come and go, they are not love.

They are, in a way, similar to sexual foreplay and sexual intercourse. These are not love, but are activities through which a husband and wife can express their love for each other.

There is a course of behaviour that can get in the way and prevent us from practising love. This course of behaviour can be avoided if we uphold certain practices in our daily living.

The practices we can uphold in our daily living to prevent behaviour that obstructs the practice of love include:

Honouring our parents, as well as others in authority over us, and our elderly

Avoiding to commit murder, and avoiding to harm the other person physically or otherwise

Practising faithfulness to the other person with whom we have a romantic or marital relationship

Refusing to steal from the other person

Speaking the truth or remaining silent about the other person, instead of telling lies against him or her

Refusing to covet that which belongs to the other person; refusing to practise envy or jealousy toward him or her.

Love, or outgoing care and concern for the other person, whenever it is practised, always faithfully serves its intended purpose. The practice of love can be the backbone of all human relationships if we would allow this to happen. It can be of great spiritual and other benefit to individuals and groups alike, wherever and whenever it is practised.

Expressing Love And The Ways of Doing So

By Edward Fagan